Just As I Am

pressing on

"Her children slept on starched sheets under layers of quilts, and in the morning her curtains filled with light the way sails fill with wind."  A few days ago Debra shared this among some of her other favorite quotes from the book Housekeeping.  I haven't read the book, but those 25 little words written by the author, Marilynne Robinson, kept coming to mind as I worked in my home today. And, while yesterday was a refreshing day of revealing where I am, today I am continuing to press on to where I long to be...with the goal of serving my family with joy and excellence. 

Today I woke up with an extraordinary sense of appreciation for the privilege of being a keeper of my home.  As I urged Leah to help me make my bed....because, as I always tell her, "there's just something special about making a bed together with someone"...I pictured, as I always do when I can coax Leah to help me, my grandmother and her housekeeper, Bessie, working as a team, making beds, cleaning windows and, washing and starching and ironing together.  I doubt they ever saw any magic in those ordinary days of sweat and toil, but they have become some of my fondest memories of my grandmother. And they often accompany and comfort me as I tackle my own ordinary days of cleaning, as they did today.

I didn't starch my sheets today, but [blush] I did starch my pillowcases.  Something within me yearned to do this.  Perhaps it was taking the time to notice the embroidered pillowcases my great grandmother made many years ago.  How many times have I handled those cases, but today I saw them in a different light.  They commanded extra special care, because today I saw them as a work of art gifted to me when I was too young to appreciate them by someone who had skillfully labored with her hands and placed them in my own, hoping that, someday, I would value them.

Today, as I tucked my pillows into my freshly starched and ironed pillowcases, my thoughts wandered back to a time when I was just a little girl watching a porter on a train preparing pillows for the passengers.  I gazed in amazement as this burly man managed to competently case the pillows with his big black hands without a thought and wondered if I would ever be able to do that.  I had tried many times, without success, and could not wait until the day I could do so with such ease.  And so, the normally routine, thoughtless chore of casing my pillows became a delightful act of worship as, with a chuckle, I thanked God for the ability to do something that, at one time, had been such an impossibility.

I am grateful for today, because it was a day that desires were accomplished.  And not only accomplished, but enjoyed.  Today, I was drawn into that magical place of starched sheets and layers of quilts and light filled windows... the place where I, as a housekeeper, feel most fulfilled and experience a delightful peace, because today I was able to serve my family in the little ways that may, in years to come, make a big difference.

being real

In response to Randi's challenge about revealing the [harsh] reality of our lives in constrast to what we often choose to share on our blogs, here's a peek at some reality from my home :)

 

and now for..........................

Yikes! I don't like seeing that on my blog :)  This is the bathroom we keep saying we need to do something about!  Wouldn't you agree?

and..................................sigh...................................

This was snapped within minutes of reading Randi's post...see, there's her blog on my computer screen :) 

hmmmmmmm....I think I'm gonna clean my desk now....

Thanks for the reality check, Randi!

examined

I haven't blogged for a few days because the Cup Examiner has been in residence this week :) 

You know how it is with the CE...one never knows when He will show up for the big audit.  True, He sends little memos here and there to instruct and remind me of the importance of cup maintenance; but once in awhile, He shows up with a checklist, asks me a lot of very personal questions about my cup; and when I have answered to the best of my human heart ability, he asks me if I'm ready for inspection.

Ready?

Rarely...

Willing?

I'd be a fool not to be...only He can give a true assessment; and after all, I'm in the cup business.

It is here that He moves in really close; the light of His presence brilliantly frightful and beautiful all at the same time.  And there sits my cup just as it is, just as it was when He candidly walked through the door, light pouring over it revealing every detail.

Reluctantly, I look...

first, at His face for approval or disapproval.  But He's not looking at the cup; He's intently gazing at me with a look of expectancy and hope in His eyes. 

This reassures me and gives me confidence to take a little peek.

"Looks pretty good, don't you think?"  I hear myself ask.  "No cracks, a fair amount of shine....of course there is that chip that has been there for awhile, but remember, you told me that would always be there to remind me that my cup is fragile and must be handled with care.  And, while my cup is not aesthetically the most lovely of cups, it is in pretty good condition."

"True," he says

and moves a little closer

inducing me to lean in for closer examination.

I look inside the cup.

A stain of "jealousy" that was there before I got one of His memos is gone and has not come back.

The residue of "bitterness" from a hurt that was revealed upon last examination has been removed.

"Finished?"  I query, shielding my eyes from the light.

He stands without a word ...the silence of Light only speaking.

Forced by the silence to look one more time, I see it...

a pronounced ring  of "comparing" [almost hidden] deep in the bottom of my cup.

"Okay, a little, tiny ring; please, have you seen the rings and stains in those other cups?"

"Uh huh, that's just what I'm talking about," He says, stepping out of the light now looking at me tenderly, longingly, with concern.

"You realize that drinking from a cup in that condition will slowly but surely poison you and render you useless to Me."

"Every cup in the Kingdom is examined and marked according to what is found inside. Quality control, you know. What will your trademark be    S? P? D?"

"Scribe, Pharisee... hypocrite... oh no, Lord, Heaven forbid; I long to be your Disciple."

"Heaven is forbidding it....are you ready then?"

Oh yes, Lord...

Let's clean the cup!"

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world; but that the world should be saved through Him.  He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.  And this is the judgement, that the light is come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the light; for their deeds were evil.  For everyone who does evil hates the light, and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought by God."  John 3:16-21

"Two men wnet up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee, and the other a tax-gatherer.  The Pharisee stood and was praying thus to himself 'God, I thank thee that I am not like other people:  swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax-gatherer. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all I get.' But the tax-gatherer standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, 'God be merciful to me, the sinner!'  I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled, but he who humbles himself shall be exalted."  Luke 18:10-14

"For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.  II Corinthians 10:12

"Woe to you Scribes and Pharisee's, hypocrites! For You clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence.  You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also.  Matthew23:25-26

learning curve

I know, I know I keep changing the format of this blog...It's just a great way to learn some new things in Photoshop and typead.  I won't promise anything, but I'm hoping to keep this one for a while :)

....okay, now back to posting :)

This was a fun thing to do....and you can do it too! Here

Today is my niece, Joy's, birthday; and although we have never exchanged gifts or even cards, today I would like to say "Happy Birthday."

And speaking of February birthdays, I would also like to wish my niece, Erin, a belated birthday...I don't think she reads my blog, but I want to wish her a happy birthday anyway....just because :) Wishing you a great year!

marriage secrets

Blair at  Scribblings by Blair tagged me for a Valentine MeMe...

Question

What's one thing you have learned to do differently to make your marriage better?  Or one thing you think is important to a good marriage?

The Not-So-Fine-Print

If you're not married, look at your parents or a couple you know that has a good marriage and tell something you admire about their relationship.  And no pressure to tell the most important thing; in fact, try to write something different than what's already been written, if you get tagged after several other people have already done it.  If you get tagged, link back to whoever tagged you, so we can follow the trail and see what others have said.

Answer

After about 25 years of marriage : ), I finally realized that my husband does not have to be just like me.  He's a man. Men are different than women. My husband is different than I am. And this is good : )

That may sound totally silly, but how many women do you know who resent their husbands because they are not sensitive enough or thoughtful enough, or gentle enough or who-knows-what enough?

My greatest victory in the success of my marriage came when I began to learn to love my husband where he was without expectations.   When I perceive a need in John's life, I try to remind myself that God is big enough to reveal his neediness to him and, by His grace, give him the desire and power to change.  That way I am assured that the change is eternal...from the inside out and not a superficial action performed to temporarily please me.

He is free to be who God made him to be and perhaps...ouch...be a tool in the Lord's hand to change me!

When I choose holiness over happiness as the ultimate goal of my marriage I am, interestingly, much happier!

Tagging:

Sparrow at Intent

Randi at I Have to Say

Beth at The Brewcrew Adventure

Ann at Holy Experience

free friday

wearing these...

...sipping

this...

...thinking about making my bed with these...

okay ...time to switch gears...

and experience the freedom that work brings!

Balance...

A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought.  There is visile labor and there is invisible labor.  --Victor Hugo

Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.  --Anne Frank

...procduct

...satisfaction : )

uncommonly common

Don't you love the movie It's a Wonderful Life and it's heartening story about a character named George Baily who made a difference in his world without even knowing it?

he didn't live life to make a statement or to receive attention or acclamation

he didn't focus on what others were not doing for him, because he was too busy finding ways to help others 

he was courageous, he was persistent, he was generous, he was just

he became the people's advocate and stood against old Mr. Potter, the town bully, when enough was enough

he was willing to pay the price

he had the ability to see flaws in needy people's lives and still continue to reach out to them and love them

while George was just living his life, other lives around him were being salvaged, molded, changed through his own

and although it is true that all of our lives are constantly influencing others in one way or another, I see George's as being a life that was uncommonly common....

a life set apart

a life that was not wasted on self, but spent for others

a life that offered hope and encouragement

and even though George Baily is a totally fictional character in this Frank Capra movie,

I know a real "George Baily" who was born on Valentine's Day 1927

I call him Dad

and I know enough about him that he would want me to tell you this

that anything good I see in him is not because of who he is but because of Who Christ is in him

a life set apart by the Master for His own use

because when Christ asked, he said yes

and I'm so blessed that, in being his daughter, I've had a front row seat!

This is a day late, because I couldn't get into my blog to post yesterday.....which was John's parents' 50th Wedding Anniversary! We celebrated with them by sharing dinner at a charming little Italian restaurant.